I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
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