someone threw a dead crab at me
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
