Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
