So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
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