Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Randomize
