i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Who died my cat blue again?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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