just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
