..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
