your thong is hanging out like whoa
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
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