i just wanna soil my oats bro
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
