Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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