my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
