i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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