i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
