plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
