i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
