Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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