This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Randomize
