do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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