You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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