thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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