I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
