did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
