the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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