Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
