I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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