i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
