she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
