so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
