So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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