A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
