Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
