I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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