you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
