Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
