I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
