I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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