WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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