I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
