stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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