I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
He passed out mid-signature
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
