every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
This baby is an asshole
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
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