We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
