You're my little dorito
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
