He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
