I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
