We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Randomize
