Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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