how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
