thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
