New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Randomize
