matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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