I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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