Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
