One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
