i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
they're like a gay fantastic four
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
where are my pants?
in the oven.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
