So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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