I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
