oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
do herpes really smell.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Randomize