I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
