Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
