Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
