I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
