This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
